Embarrassingly enough I watched the entire season of abc’s “The Bachelorette” which ended with Andi Dorfman, the current “Bachelorette”, getting engaged to a former professional baseball player named Josh. I know I know. This show isn’t really known for it’s success in marriages. Neither does it display chastity (really of any kind) and its pretty dang unrealistic. Normal people don’t fly through the Mediterranean for their first few dates, something more along the lines of dinner and a movie with a budget sounds more like it. I guess my hope is that maybe someday there will be a couple that strives to live a virtuous life of love through Our Lord, because it has happened before! Check out Sean Lowe and his wife if you don’t believe me. Anyway… This season ended in beautiful Dominican Republic with a romantic proposal. Let me tell ya….
I am a sucker for good proposals.
You got it. Tears and all.
The strange thing was that while watching the much anticipated Bachelorette proposal, I didn’t shed a single tear. Not one! Don’t get me wrong, josh said some really beautiful things and their love could truly be genuine. I even had some “awe” moments. But the reality was that some of the things he said really didn’t strike me to the core like the proposal of Jill Duggar and Derick Dillard from the TV show “19 Kids and Counting”.
As I was talking with my sister and telling her about how strange it was that I cried watching the proposal of Jill and Derick but not the infamous “Bachelorette” proposal, one would think that with all the hype the Bachelorette makes, it would result in a crazy romantic proposal that would bring any girly girl to tears. I realized as I was talking what the huge difference was…. God being the writer of your love story or not.
During the Bachelorette, the proposal was filled with phrases like, “I am so passionate about you…We have so much passion…we have so much chemistry…I fell in love with you on the first night I saw you….” So on and so forth. God wasn’t mentioned at all. Our Lord is LOVE, therefore; how can you fully love someone without involving love Himself?
I remember being glued to the TV as Derick Dillard got down on one knee to ask Jill Duggar to marry him and honor him by, “serving Our Lord with him for the rest of his life.” Even before he got down on one knee, the viewers listened to a beautiful song that was written specifically for the couple detailing their love story. The lyrics went along the lines, “when He made you, it was obvious He was thinking of me”. Isn’t that a beautiful phrase you want to hear on the day you get engaged? The assurance that God had been the writer of your love story! The confidence that God was thinking of you when He created your future spouse. If you want to hear it click here.
Shortly after the proposal the couple went back to the Duggar home to announce their engagement. What was the first thing the family did in celebration? They gathered in prayer.
“Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.” Matthew 19:6
A couple who prays together, stays together. It may be entertaining to see the grandeur of ‘love’ displayed on the Bachelorette but without the direction of Our Lord channeling the relationship, it may be like a river without boundaries. The river that lacks boundaries will have no end result and will go in every direction, where as the river with boundaries will flow more smoothly and have a place where it inevitably ends. For Christian relationships this inevitable end is Heaven, and the boundaries that keep us steady on that path are our virtues. Chastity is a biggie. These boundaries aren’t meant to be restrictive, but rather they allow freedom to exist in the relationship. The freedom to leave the relationship if it’s not a good fit because you aren’t physically attached, or the freedom to choose the path to sanctification which is the path of chastity with your beloved. Our Lord asks not only, “Will you accept this rose?” … But asks…”Will you accept both this rose AND these thorns?”
How will you respond?
“If there is any encouragement in Christ, any solace in love, any participation in the Spirit, any compassion and mercy,complete my joy by being of the same mind, with the same love, united in heart, thinking one thing.
Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves, each looking out not for his own interests, but everyone for those of others. Have among yourselves the same attitude that is also yours in Christ Jesus, Who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God something to be grasped.” Philippians 2: 1-6